Our Viewpoint: Be the person who reaches out to others

So, here we are. Again. Rehashing and rehashtagging an all too common issue. Unfortunately, the issue is being presented as cut and dry, black and white, either/or – again.

As with most things in life, there are more than two sides to the views expressed on the school shooting issue – which is showing no signs of slowing or going away. Either you support gun rights or you want them all taken away. At least, those are the two views overwhelmingly being presented. As with most things set before me, I’ve got mixed feelings about all of it and can readily see the point of view taken by just about anyone. So, I’ll just ditch the whole gun safety/control rights/vetting issue completely and focus on the aspect that can be controlled only by each individual in their own space.

The emergence of the “Walk Up, Not Out” movement has been used as a tool by both sides of the argument. For some it is a way to undermine the walkout protest recently held by students across the nation. For others, it is a way to address the underlying issue in these crisis situations: the feeling of isolation or being ostracized by some, followed by lashing out violently for retribution.

For me, “walking up” has always been a go-to social maneuver. I was never the popular guy in school, nor did I really hang with the popular crowd. However, I was pretty popular with the non-popular kids, and my crowd of friends was well-liked amongst the non-popular crowd. It was because we were nice. I don’t recall ever being mean to anyone. I also don’t recall ever being comfortable in high school social situations. But I knew if I wanted someone who wouldn’t reject me and my company at those functions, I could always walk up to the loner in the room and have someone to talk to and add another name to my social Rolodex (just dated myself there).

I didn’t want to be friends with the popular kids – they had enough friends and I wasn’t interested in feeding their egos. However, the loners I approached became friends. Their social status didn’t cramp my style (mostly because I had none).

This came in handy when one unsocial acquaintance lost his cool while getting his usual dose of taunts at school. He was frothing at the mouth and swinging wildly. They were all laughing. My friend and I stepped right in the middle of it all. He saw it was us. He untensed a little. We put a hand on his shoulder and walked out of the taunts with him. It was over.

What if we had not befriended him at the last school dance? That scene would have played out a lot differently. All he needed was one person to reach out. Be that person.