Street Smart

Before this past weekend, I had a totally different topic in mind for this bi-weekly column. In my last column I wrote about what I believed to be a generation of whimps. After last weekend, I find myself in a position where I have to walk that back a little bit.

Last weekend I went to a birthday celebration for a friend of mine who had just turned 21. Although it doesn’t matter for purposes of this discussion, this young man became a friend as an extension of my friendship with his parents. I truly admire this young man for a variety of reasons, but that’s not really the reason for my writing. It was the interaction I’ve had with this young man and his friends that prompted this.

I’ve been willing (maybe even eager) to write off young people as a lost generation. Interestingly, my parents did the same thing regarding my generation. I think I fell into that same – although very common – trap. While I still believe all that I wrote in my last column, I think I have to stop thinking/speaking in such general terms about our young people. Here’s where this epiphany kicked me in the head. Last weekend, I was able to sit and speak with several young people who had recently graduated from Thompson Falls High School. I’m quite comfortable saying that I was beyond impressed with the young people I spoke to. Each of these individuals had a plan for moving on beyond high school. I asked questions but mostly just sat fascinated and listened while these young people discussed a future involving the military or further education followed by careers. Each of these young people had a direction they intended to travel, and it was so encouraging to hear.

When I felt the time was right, I asked a few questions. I really wondered what drove their determination to move forward the way they had described. Their answers weren’t really surprising, but it was heartening to hear. They told me it was the example of parents, teachers and coaches that drove them. These young people were told what it takes to move forward and grow. They were told that life is tough and unfair. They were taught a work ethic. Now before someone says “yeah but,” understand that I’m not describing a group of young people that some might describe as privileged. Not at all. The single thing these young people had in common, in terms of determining their drive, was the fact that someone, somewhere, had provided an example of behavior that they admired and wanted to emulate. A sobering thought for all of us to be sure.

For example; one person described teachers and the GEAR UP program at Thompson Falls High School as a turning point. He learned that a career in a trade he learned at Montana Tech would take him where he wanted to go and that it was okay. Another described a wrestling coach who had a ‘never quit, never stop’ philosophy that drove him to be his best in whatever he did. One young lady described watching her father struggle with work and family responsibility while demonstrating a tremendous work ethic. She watched him do the best he could to balance work and family life to provide for their family. That was her example.

A week after that gathering, my grandkids came up for a visit. My grandkids are only a little younger than the group I just described, so I asked their opinions. Now I have to preface this by stating that I’ve always believed in treating teens in a pretty adult manner. I’m not suggesting that we cross any improper lines, only that we should listen and truly pay attention to what they have to say on a more adult level. That belief has shaped a relationship with my grandkids that I like to think has contributed to a very open type of communication. I think they trust me, and I can confidently say that I trust them. In my experience, the importance of that kind of trust cannot be overemphasized!

My grandkids told me that it’s all about the examples we as adults provide. If we say one thing and then do another… they see and remember it. They are very tuned into hypocrisy. For example, don’t tell your teenager the evils of drinking and driving while you’re cruising down the road with a beer between your knees. They’re watching, so if that’s the example you set, be prepared to live with it! Now please don’t get me wrong, I’ve made my share of mistakes and, regrettably, more of them than I care to admit. These observations of mine come from years of watching and learning. The young people I just described had positive role models. My point in all of this is that each of us has an opportunity (and I believe a responsibility) to be that positive role model and provide the right example. They’re watching!

Blaine Blackstone is a retired Los Angeles Police Sergeant who enjoys the simpler life in Thompson Falls. He can be reached by email at [email protected].