Street Smart

When did we as a nation lose our sense of humor? It seems that we hear every day that someone has been offended by words, actions or images and this information somehow makes the news. Years ago we had movies like Blazing Saddles and television shows like All In The Family that allowed (and even encouraged) us all to laugh at ourselves and at/with one another. I think the loss of that sort of humor is tragic.

An example; I’ve been working a job out of town with some friends. The other day one of those friends commented on the fact he had made a BLT sandwich and that the smell of bacon was still strong in his room. He then looked slyly at me and stated, “That’s a smell Blaine is very familiar with!” Regular readers of this column know that I’m a retired police officer. I’m certain most readers probably know that the term “pig,” or any reference to a “pig,” can be a very derogatory term when directed toward a police officer. Therefore, my friend’s statement could be defined as some sort of personal attack. I heard what he had said, and I had several options before me. I could have responded in anger and lashed out. I could have pretended I hadn’t heard the statement and ignored it. I could have called my friend a “big meany face” before running to a safe zone where I could curl up in the fetal position and drool on myself. Or, I could laugh at my friend’s quick wit, appreciate the fact he was comfortable enough, and liked me enough, to feel at ease to make such a statement. Then…begin to plot my revenge! I chose the latter. What he said was a funny, perfectly timed comment that was never meant to actually insult me. On the contrary! What my friend said demonstrated behavior that is the very definition of camaraderie. I knew I’d get him back and fire on him in a similar manner. That’s the sort of behavior that builds close friendships.

I guess I had one other option. I could have taken my friend aside and told him that I was offended by his comment and ask him not to do that sort of thing again. That would clearly be the right response for some people. After all, many people are quite sensitive and don’t appreciate that sort of joking. I also have to add that I’ve been around people who would make such a statement pretending to joke while in reality, actually meaning what they said (classic passive/aggressive behavior). People like that are quite easy to spot when you know what to look for. Those are the unfortunate souls who are confronted with option number one above.

I grew up, and then worked, in a very diverse environment. The sort of joking I just described was something we did each and every day. Our comments to each other ran the gamut; racially, sexually, family life, you name it. Nothing was off limits and the things we said to one another were hilariously inappropriate. People who have never experienced this sort of camaraderie absolutely would not understand what I’m trying to describe. By any of today’s definitions, our joking would likely be considered by an outsider to be hateful to the person the jokes were directed toward. It was anything but that. We cared deeply for each other and our actions when it counted confirmed that.

None of the above is to suggest that inappropriate behavior should be ignored or condoned. On the contrary! When a person takes behavior or comments to an improper level, that individual must be dealt with swiftly and effectively. What I’m trying to illustrate is that some behavior or comment, when taken at face value may appear to be totally inappropriate. However, when that same behavior or comment is evaluated in the proper context, it’s actually quite harmless. The context is everything.

I personally believe that our differences could actually unite us as a nation rather than divide us if we learned to joke with one another. Another example; My cousin and his wife are my polar opposites politically; I’m quite conservative and they’re quite confused! That’s a joke between us, but also part of the point I’m trying to illustrate. I call them my favorite hippies and I’m their favorite redneck (I guess by some standard those are inappropriate terms. For the record…we don’t care!). We have discussions about every political topic you can imagine and seldom agree at the outset. However, because we come from a position of mutual respect and listen to each other’s perspective, we have never parted ways angry at one another and quite often find common ground. Why? Clearly the mutual respect we have for one another is a component, but I believe that the humor we share allows us to laugh at our differences and then seek that common ground.

I saw something while cruising my email the other day that really registered with me. It was an image of a wise old Indian Chief with the following statement written below; “What if I told you that the right wing and the left wing were parts of the same bird?” I know it’s one of those corny old things (I think they’re called memes) that we all see on the internet, but take a second and consider that statement. I suggest we re-learn how to laugh and joke together while working toward our many common goals. I’ve seen that concept work routinely on a small scale. Let’s kick it up a notch!

Blaine Blackstone is a retired Los Angeles Police Sergeant who enjoys the simpler life in Thompson Falls. He can be reached by email at [email protected].