Street Smart

In his book the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey listed habit number six as, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” I first read Covey’s book about 20 years ago when studying for a promotional exam. I enjoyed the book and really embraced the message. Habit number six resonated with me because I think an inability to effectively communicate and understand one another contributes to more problems than we probably realize. I don’t think people take the time to understand, much less appreciate, an opposing view.

Political philosopher Frantz Fanon said, “Sometimes people hold a cognitive belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable called ‘Cognitive Dissonance’ and since it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore, and even deny anything that doesn’t fit with the core belief.”

I think Fanon’s theory is quite accurate and something we have to be aware of and combat. Consider the possibilities if we employed Covey’s habit of seeking first to understand and then to be understood, while acknowledging the accuracy of Fanon’s theory. I think it would help us look at all sides of an issue.

One of the most enlightening lessons in my life was learned in a critical thinking/debate class. The instructor gave us a list of three topics; capital punishment, abortion and euthanasia. He then asked us to declare in class either our support for or opposition to one of those topics. Everyone in the class did so and the instructor wrote down our responses. He then explained to us that the next time we met as a class; we would be expected to present a five minute argument against our declared beliefs. For example, in my case; I supported capital punishment. My assignment then, was to present a five minute argument explaining why capital punishment is wrong. While the assignment was quite challenging, it was also a life lesson. I learned in that class to look at both sides of an issue and ‘seek to understand’ the opposition view. That lesson has helped me to argue my points more effectively, but also to appreciate and acknowledge a different opinion.

In several of my columns, I’ve expressed the view that we should all educate ourselves on the issues before forming an opinion. It is my belief that we should never take something at face value and immediately accept it as fact. There’s a trend in our country to rely on social media for our information and then express that information as truth. It seems that very few people take the time to thoroughly research a topic before offering an opinion. I believe there is also a tendency to seek information from sources that lean toward or somehow support our core philosophy. For example, I’ve been accused of being a Fox News mouthpiece. While it’s true that I watch Fox News, that’s only one of my information sources. I’ve learned that, in order to argue effectively, I have to be well informed. That means I have to consider information from as many sources as I can. Whether they support my admittedly conservative views or not. It’s a challenging task.

I guess I’m taking the long way to say that we should re-learn how to listen to and respect other view (regardless of the topic), and we need to be well informed. It seems that our nation is so divided that no topic can be openly discussed without conflict and that truth has caused enormous problems. Nobody (myself included) likes to have their core beliefs challenged. However, I think that we all need to get past that and acknowledge other views. In fact, I think we should all make a concerted effort to critically evaluate and understand information that directly contradicts our core beliefs. Try it yourself. Consider the exercise I described above and give it a shot. Pretend you have to argue against something you believe. I doubt you’ll change your own mind, but the practice will force you to look at things through a different lens. Think about the possibilities. What would our nation look like if our elected officials could just figure out that one little thing and work together? Mind boggling, right?

Blaine Blackstone is a retired Los Angeles Police Sergeant who enjoys the simpler life in Thompson Falls. He can be reached by email at [email protected].