View from the Sidelines

Unfortunately, my NIL is probably worth nil.

This name, image and likeness (or NIL) discussion that is going on with college sports since the Supreme Court ruled in the athletes’ favor and against the NCAA last week has got me thinking: Should I try to profit from my name, image and likeness?

Theoretically, I could make out like a bandit, but I will more likely end up more broke and disappointed with myself than I already am.

But perhaps I should at least think a little more seriously about this, the potential profit versus the almost certain loss of any remaining self-respect I may still possess. I am going to take the chance though because I think I am worth it, and let’s see who out there agrees with me.

Maybe it is time to market John Hamilton so I can make some extra moola, so I can get some extra mileage out of this broken-down old body of mine, so I can get a little more financial buck out of my remaining days here on old planet earth. What have I got to lose?

Any part of my NIL is currently available, at a price of course.

Let’s start with my name and what it is worth.

My well-known name speaks for itself, almost everyone around here claims to know me or to have met me. Or to have least heard from someone else about how I misstated facts or got somebody’s name wrong (again!).

Talk about brand recognition. Okay, here it is, if you want to use my name (other than to commit a crime) that will cost you five dollars each time. But each time you do, you can say you are John Hamilton. Go ahead if you have the money and the odd desire to be me.

Now let’s talk about my drop-dead image, which I consider priceless, and its monetary worth.

People should start to admit how good looking I really am and will undoubtedly be willing to ante up some cash to prove it.

If you happen to use my picture to promote your products or ideas, please be ready to fork over 20 dollars every time you do it.

As for my likeness, I really am at a little bit of a loss for how to proceed and profit from that one.

If you want me to like something, I suppose we could negotiate but I am thinking that one of my likenesses is easily worth at least 100 dollars. What’s not to like about that?

This is not even saying anything about how some of the stuff I say or write on these pages seems to be extra special. Look at me, I am a marketable commodity and if you went for all three at once, the grand slam of Ham – my name, my image and my likeness – that would cost you only $125 per time.

Methinks that would be a bargain for some lucky customers, break out all your checkbooks and we can talk some more…

NIL TIMEOUT TIME

But wait! I Just looked up my name of the internet. There are literally hundreds of thousands of John Hamiltons out there, if you pay me for using my name, you may need to check with all those other Johns as well.

As for my image, upon passing a mirror just now I noticed that my image ain’t quite what it used to be, although I am still strikingly handsome, at least in my own mind’s eye. Would someone (anyone?) actually pay good money to have my picture help endorse anything?

And who really cares about my likeness? Well past its prime might be the best way to describe it right now, and it isn’t going to improve in the near future.

What it all boils down to is that in reality, my NIL is probably not as marketable as I would like to think and maybe I should give up on this idea of trying to profit from it.

Maybe I can throw this whole process in reverse and win new friends that way, by paying them to use my NIL.

If I was to pay to play, what should people charge me? Perhaps a column for another day is all I have to say about that.

The bottom line to this NIL saga reminds of a line from a song: “Nothing from nothing leaves nothing, you gotta have something if you wanna be with me!”