Slice of Life: The value and gift of mentoring

I so appreciate being able to write about differing aspects of what affects our lives. When I was considering topics to write on, I began to think of the people who have influenced my life. Whether they have been a large part or just breezed in to leave behind a change, all have contributed in some way to help me grow and develop to be the person I am today. One of the earliest mentors I had in my life was Mrs. Barbara Cooksey. As the Mother Advisor to my young Rainbow Girl Worthy Advisor, she taught me many invaluable lessons on leadership, politics and standing in faith.

So, what is a mentor? Bob Proctor, a motivational speaker, believes a mentor is one who “sees more talent and ability within you, than you see yourself, and helps bring it out.” Surely this is what Mrs. Cooksey saw in my sixteen year old self, new to the role of leadership, but a blank canvas, willing to learn. And learn I did. Many of the lessons she gently guided me through remain part of me today. And at times I even find myself thinking, “What would Mrs. Cooksey think?”

Many schools and workplaces have mentoring programs. Some have formal guidelines on what the mentoring program would look like. But is it just a formal relationship? What is a mentor? Beyond being a formally structured program, a mentor is an advisor, a guide, confidante, counselor, consultant, therapist, teacher, trainer, coach, Pastor… many roles in which one person utilizes their skills and abilities to help bring another person to the top of their abilities and skills. For example, I have chosen a new mentor in my life and I am looking forward to her teaching me how to bake bread. Lynn Bierwagen has offered a class through the adult education program at Trout Creek Schools on how to bake bread. This is something I have always wanted to learn, and I’m excited she is willing to share her expertise to mentor myself and others through this process. Like my husband. I signed him up as well. He’s excited too. I think.

Steven Spielberg stated, “The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your image but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.” Such an important distinction. As mentors we are not to try to indoctrinate but to try and guide others to new knowledge not only about a particular job or subject but knowledge about how to frame that knowledge in their lives, in a way that is authentic to them. For example, Lynn and I have discussed sourdough bread, wheat bread and gluten free options. She is planning her courses around standard recipes but is willing to help me modify to gluten free varieties. That will be the type of bread I will bring into my diet, authentic to me.

I have had several opportunities in my life to mentor others: as a coach for students studying to become a licensed massage therapist, as a Sunday School teacher, a parent and even helping family members learn the art of canning and food preservation. Another new opportunity is coming up for my husband David and me He is a retired high school teacher, and we will be taking on a volunteer role to help coach a team of high school students in the upcoming Sanders County Constitution Bowl. While we will be helping students learn more about the Constitution of the United States and how to compete to win, we will also be mentored by constitutional specialists to make sure we have a good solid understanding of the document our country is founded on. We are excited to be taking on this dual role of mentoring and being mentored.

Life provides us with continual opportunities to gain knowledge and education. We should never stop learning. Nor should we shy away from being the mentor. Some of the best life lessons I have learned have come from mentoring another person. Not only did I add to the experience of another person, but it reinforced the knowledge I had on a subject that I might have forgotten I knew. Still, as Bill Walsh is quick to remind us, “Your mentors are important. Choose them wisely.”

Mentors are all around us. Who have your mentors been? Who have you mentored? In our remote environment who has stepped up to help you learn a new skill? Sewing, cooking, hunting, gathering? Money management, canning, gardening? Who has coached you in weight loss, fitness, archery? How do you utilize your ability to mentor to help create a closer knit community? How do you find a need and fill it?

Midge, one of my neighbors when I was a young wife and mother, mentored me in my gardening skills. I’ll never forget her watching me mow over iris growing in the middle of my lawn week after week. I finally asked her, “Do you think I’d kill them if I transplanted them in this summer heat?”

She replied, “I don’t think you’re doing them much good now,” stating the obvious and starting her mentorship to me about gardening.

So thankful Mrs. Cooksey taught me to see a good mentor when one was presented. I’ll be looking out for others along the way.

Chelle is a recovering social worker who currently works as a licensed massage therapist at Cherry Creek Myotherapy. She moved to Montana with her husband David and two pups, Lucas and Turner, where they seek “the quiet life” amid new adventures.